The Confused Teen

Long back during covid , I received a mail from one of my nephew, who is 18.I opened it with curiosity as he was writing to me after ages. But soon after reading this the feelings said otherwise. The boy, I used to know was a fun and joyous chap has turned into a desperate man. The letter was written out of frustration of not having a clue on what to do with life, a breakup , missing friends and most importantly spending hours on phone looking at photoes with ex. He was lamenting of his life and declaring himself as an utter failure of not meeting his parent’s expectations. As a result of this, I called him and it resulted in a long conversation for about 2 hours. I didn’t try to take the guilt out of him or to loosen him. What I thought was let the emotions in him, whatever it was, be a fuel to his seeking. We discussed on certain things that sound logical as well as those could address the challenges.

This may be the toughest face one could go through. But if we don’t deal with this, what is the beauty of life. Have you come across these beautiful mantra’s :

What would life be without setbacks? It would not be worth having if it were not for struggles.

Where would be the poetry of life? Never mind the struggles, the mistakes. I never heard a

cow tell a lie, but it is only a cow---never a man. So never mind these failures, these little

backslidings; hold the ideal a thousand times; and if you fail a thousand times, make the

attempt once more.”

Let us first understand that we are human beings and all that we go through are humane. There’s nothing inferior or superior about this. Let us be part of the solution and act accordingly.

It’s the lock-down

This is the time you have to spend with your parents 24*7. Previously you managed to avoid allPeople and emotions by going all, catching cinemas etc. Now all we are left is with our own selfand our family. Scary, it is for many. This will result in out pouring of emotions, which wereotherwise avoided forcefully by the mind. But I think, this is the perfect time because we canface all our inner demons and deal with it so that it won’t mess up with our life. This is one wayof looking at lock-down. But isn’t it a wonderful idea to come out of this as a more    being!!

I can understand how much studies, job or clarity on life means to someone who wishes to stand tall. I have seen many such people and I also wanted to get a job a couple of years ago. I respect such people who aim to go forward, earn, meet their dreams and go on with their life.But on the other hand, this is also a process which might take a hell lot of time. So make sureyou never get bored or disappointed through this. In this era we can do a variety of things to doand explore.

The last vacation, may be :

It is important to realize that this is the last vacation you are having. Once you land in high school or college, you won’t be having very quality me or family time. So be with your loved one's more than ever. At the same time as I said above, this is a time to work on your own faculties, like mind and bodyinto the way you want it. The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and all the memories we’ve made along the way.

Think of it

When you are sitting idle, if mind is bringing uncertainty, tension and misery- is itworking for you? If your own mind is against you how can you expect the dream job to fall andtake away all problems? All we can do is to work with what we have and make it wonderful.  The mind is not the problem. You don't know how to handle it, that’s the problem. So don’t talk about the mind, just look at the inadequacy with which you are trying to handle it. 

Expand your knowledge and core:

Make sure once you are ready to get a job, you become willing to learn more than ever before.This is how you can be better every day and be of value. More than ever before there arenumerous tools to provide knowledge on all topics. Try to make use of this and gain as much asknowledge. For example there are many platforms which offers certificate courses just byspending for or five hours on the internet. It is like you are doing schooling sitting in yourbedroom. Each such courses and certificates are additives while you are seeking job.

Embrace variety :

You need not spend all time working for future or trying to find job or stressing about it. Learn a new language, paint a sunset, write, read, learn the piano, cook a meal, video call your friends and do all the things you love. Remember our goal is not just to find a job- but to live lifein a fantastic way. So do all things that make you and your loved ones happy. All these thing scan be a wonderful experience if done with a joyful approach. These are all simple exercises to make sure that once the viruses leave and we are out, the world turns into a little better!In short, it is always you who need to be willing and make that step. The above ones are just mentioned out of my experiences and experiments. It would be wonderful if you can try and find out your own modus operandi.

Happy Everyday!

Vineeth Ajith

vin.ajith@gmail.com