The Confession

As human beings, we are all capable of horrible things in life. Question is, is there a line that demarcates people of a society as good or bad? Or is morality subjective?

I believe that people in a community are like the lines of a bar code – a mixture of black and white lines. While some lines are thick, some are thin. And together, it makes one community form a code.

My second question is, is there a demarcation between good and bad? What’s good for someone might not be as good for another. And who is to judge what’s right and wrong? Say a girl kills her father because she was being abused by him. Do we say she was right in her act of self defense or do we malign her character for not revering the birth-giver? A lot of people will spring to remark “But she could have informed the police!” But what if she was bound by the circumstances that wouldn’t allow her to take the aid of such machineries? I hope I am making my point.

Let’s talk about a very sensitive subject – Adultery or cheating. Let’s say Sam is a hopeless romantic who is head over heels in love with Leila. Leila travels abroad and now Sam is lonely. While both of them are busy in their lives, unable to keep a track of time in the course of their business, Sam finds someone who seems to make time stop for him. The moment is breathtaking! Sam falls in love with this girl but never confesses because he already has a girlfriend. Long distance relationships take a toll on everyone. But Sam and Leila, despite their differences that arose with time due to their distance, decide to cling on to each other. Because that’s what Love is, right? Holding on to each other even at the worst of times? Here, we applaud Sam for not cheating on his girlfriend despite the distance, the differences, the dismay and the disturbance of emotions. Will he not be cheating on himself though for acting against his own sentiments, emotions and will?

Suppose he does end up cheating on Leila with the other girl following his heart and is happy now with the other girl. Will we be happy for him or chastise him for the rest of his life for being a cheater? The society generally does the latter because it simply derives pleasure in fault-finding. Let us now switch characters and suppose that Leila is the one to cheat on Sam. Will the society only chastise her like it would do to Sam or will it be worse owing to her gender? The society again does the latter because apparently the character of a woman is easier to be stripped than a man’s. Who sets these norms though? Who decides what’s moral and what’s not? Sam would be cheating anyway, either on himself or on Leila. But in such cases, is it not better to choose your own happiness over someone else’s?

Morality is subjective. We base our life on it as if it was a set stone of principles that was fixed and absolute. But why? Basing our lives on something so superficial is bound to make us fall out of balance, isn’t it?

Here’s my third question – Is jealousy not a form of love? Is avenging a loved one not a part of love? The highest form of love is perhaps sacrifice. Someone once asked me long back to define love. I was a child but somehow I said something so apt and mature that I cannot possibly conjure now that I am a grown up woman. I said, “When you are willing to choose someone’s happiness over your own, that’s love.” In short, “Sacrifice”. All of us do it for the ones we love. We sacrifice our plans, our money, our time, our company, etc. We give up on things and people to be with the one we love. And when I say  love, I mean all kinds of love -  a mother’s love for her child, a father’s love for his family, a partner’s love for his sweetheart, a founder’s love for his company, a businessman’s love for success, etc. Think about it. Do we all not give up something for the other? We are all sacrificing something because we love something else. Coming back to my point, after experiencing the highest form of love i.e. sacrifice, would you be willing to see the person or thing you love being taken away by someone or something else? Of course not! This proves you can’t really be jealous if you’re not in love.

And so here’s my final question – “If I kill for love, would it really be a crime or would it be justified?”

My husband has been sleeping with a woman. She is not just any woman, she is my student, talented and beautiful, young and smart! Being a lawyer and a professor isn’t easy. Juggling between both professions take away time – the time that I would otherwise would have spent with my husband. I love my husband, but he loves her. Two years ago, I was given the liberty to choose three among a class of a hundred students to work for me under my guidance. Not to boast of, but it is an opportunity that students don’t want to give up on and would actually fight their teeth for. Amelia was one of them. And that was the biggest mistake of my life!

Amelia and the other two stayed with me working till late. I must say, those kids are tenacious. And that is when Amelia and Robert started talking. It was late when I realised how close they had gotten and how much she knew about our bedroom as opposed to me. To observe caution I began delegating more work to them and started taking some time off for myself. But my marriage had already gone to the gutters by then. Robert seemed distracted and aloof most of the time. It hurt me. I could see how besotted Robert was of Amelia. I was jealous. I was angry! I wanted to do something to cure it, but I couldn’t. I thought overburdening Amelia with work would restrain her from visiting my husband. Oh but the power of love they say is unmatched! Every moment I saw my husband using his phone I would get angry. I was drinking the poison of my mind from the vile thoughts that ran through my neural system every time I saw him wit her. My husband was no longer mine. He might have been wearing the ring, but the rein was already in someone else’s hands.

I was lost and devastated. At times I wanted to cry. But the grief had solidified my tears. I was full of rage and vengeance. I wanted to get rid of this. So one day, I meticulously orchestrated a plan.

I told Robert and my juniors that I was going on a small field trip and wouldn’t be back until three days. I gave specific instructions to Amelia and the other two to complete drafting the legal documents and finding pointers to getting away with the murder a client committed. I packed up my bag and bade my goodbyes. I didn’t fly. I took a hotel room instead and waited till the sun went down.

It was about midnight. I tiptoed into my house and went for the kitchen for a knife. As I approached my bedroom upstairs I heard laughter and indistinct chattering. It was Amelia and Robert ofcourse. I saw the pile of paperwork that the interns had on their table – how to get away with murder. As I inched closer I heard Robert say “You’re beautiful” to which Amelia laughed as if my husband had cracked the funniest joke. They were both so happy! How could they be happy! That’s my husband and my student! I love him and he loves her. I needed to get rid of this situation. I needed to get rid of her.

And so in a frenzy of obsessive thoughts and unfathomable hatred I ran inside the room and stabbed into the heart of Amelia Park about seventeen times till she could move anymore. I waited a moment to catch my breath and then went to my terrified husband. I kissed him and whispered in his ear “ Now you’re all mine, only mine, my love.”

As human beings, we are all capable of horrible things in life. Question is, is there a line that demarcates people of a society as good or bad? Or is morality subjective?

I believe that people in a community are like the lines of a bar code – a mixture of black and white lines. While some lines are thick, some are thin. And together, it makes one community form a code.

My second question is, is there a demarcation between good and bad? What’s good for someone might not be as good for another. And who is to judge what’s right and wrong? Say a girl kills her father because she was being abused by him. Do we say she was right in her act of self defense or do we malign her character for not revering the birth-giver? A lot of people will spring to remark “But she could have informed the police!” But what if she was bound by the circumstances that wouldn’t allow her to take the aid of such machineries? I hope I am making my point.

Let’s talk about a very sensitive subject – Adultery or cheating. Let’s say Sam is a hopeless romantic who is head over heels in love with Leila. Leila travels abroad and now Sam is lonely. While both of them are busy in their lives, unable to keep a track of time in the course of their business, Sam finds someone who seems to make time stop for him. The moment is breathtaking! Sam falls in love with this girl but never confesses because he already has a girlfriend. Long distance relationships take a toll on everyone. But Sam and Leila, despite their differences that arose with time due to their distance, decide to cling on to each other. Because that’s what Love is, right? Holding on to each other even at the worst of times? Here, we applaud Sam for not cheating on his girlfriend despite the distance, the differences, the dismay and the disturbance of emotions. Will he not be cheating on himself though for acting against his own sentiments, emotions and will?

Suppose he does end up cheating on Leila with the other girl following his heart and is happy now with the other girl. Will we be happy for him or chastise him for the rest of his life for being a cheater? The society generally does the latter because it simply derives pleasure in fault-finding. Let us now switch characters and suppose that Leila is the one to cheat on Sam. Will the society only chastise her like it would do to Sam or will it be worse owing to her gender? The society again does the latter because apparently the character of a woman is easier to be stripped than a man’s. Who sets these norms though? Who decides what’s moral and what’s not? Sam would be cheating anyway, either on himself or on Leila. But in such cases, is it not better to choose your own happiness over someone else’s?

Morality is subjective. We base our life on it as if it was a set stone of principles that was fixed and absolute. But why? Basing our lives on something so superficial is bound to make us fall out of balance, isn’t it?

Here’s my third question – Is jealousy not a form of love? Is avenging a loved one not a part of love? The highest form of love is perhaps sacrifice. Someone once asked me long back to define love. I was a child but somehow I said something so apt and mature that I cannot possibly conjure now that I am a grown up woman. I said, “When you are willing to choose someone’s happiness over your own, that’s love.” In short, “Sacrifice”. All of us do it for the ones we love. We sacrifice our plans, our money, our time, our company, etc. We give up on things and people to be with the one we love. And when I say  love, I mean all kinds of love -  a mother’s love for her child, a father’s love for his family, a partner’s love for his sweetheart, a founder’s love for his company, a businessman’s love for success, etc. Think about it. Do we all not give up something for the other? We are all sacrificing something because we love something else. Coming back to my point, after experiencing the highest form of love i.e. sacrifice, would you be willing to see the person or thing you love being taken away by someone or something else? Of course not! This proves you can’t really be jealous if you’re not in love.

And so here’s my final question – “If I kill for love, would it really be a crime or would it be justified?”

My husband has been sleeping with a woman. She is not just any woman, she is my student, talented and beautiful, young and smart! Being a lawyer and a professor isn’t easy. Juggling between both professions take away time – the time that I would otherwise would have spent with my husband. I love my husband, but he loves her. Two years ago, I was given the liberty to choose three among a class of a hundred students to work for me under my guidance. Not to boast of, but it is an opportunity that students don’t want to give up on and would actually fight their teeth for. Amelia was one of them. And that was the biggest mistake of my life!

Amelia and the other two stayed with me working till late. I must say, those kids are tenacious. And that is when Amelia and Robert started talking. It was late when I realised how close they had gotten and how much she knew about our bedroom as opposed to me. To observe caution I began delegating more work to them and started taking some time off for myself. But my marriage had already gone to the gutters by then. Robert seemed distracted and aloof most of the time. It hurt me. I could see how besotted Robert was of Amelia. I was jealous. I was angry! I wanted to do something to cure it, but I couldn’t. I thought overburdening Amelia with work would restrain her from visiting my husband. Oh but the power of love they say is unmatched! Every moment I saw my husband using his phone I would get angry. I was drinking the poison of my mind from the vile thoughts that ran through my neural system every time I saw him wit her. My husband was no longer mine. He might have been wearing the ring, but the rein was already in someone else’s hands.

I was lost and devastated. At times I wanted to cry. But the grief had solidified my tears. I was full of rage and vengeance. I wanted to get rid of this. So one day, I meticulously orchestrated a plan.

I told Robert and my juniors that I was going on a small field trip and wouldn’t be back until three days. I gave specific instructions to Amelia and the other two to complete drafting the legal documents and finding pointers to getting away with the murder a client committed. I packed up my bag and bade my goodbyes. I didn’t fly. I took a hotel room instead and waited till the sun went down.

It was about midnight. I tiptoed into my house and went for the kitchen for a knife. As I approached my bedroom upstairs I heard laughter and indistinct chattering. It was Amelia and Robert ofcourse. I saw the pile of paperwork that the interns had on their table – how to get away with murder. As I inched closer I heard Robert say “You’re beautiful” to which Amelia laughed as if my husband had cracked the funniest joke. They were both so happy! How could they be happy! That’s my husband and my student! I love him and he loves her. I needed to get rid of this situation. I needed to get rid of her.

And so in a frenzy of obsessive thoughts and unfathomable hatred I ran inside the room and stabbed into the heart of Amelia Park about seventeen times till she could move anymore. I waited a moment to catch my breath and then went to my terrified husband. I kissed him and whispered in his ear “ Now you’re all mine, only mine, my love.”