The Forbidden Tree

The Forbidden Tree
     ( 1984 - 85)

          Coming from the last day of school with a sad disappointing face , eighth standard Damini  was queried by her Grandmother , " what happened ..." Damini broke down to tears, dropped her bag, unfastened her shoes, fell on bed sobbing , “ I failed!”, " oh dear!! These heartless ruthless teachers , what wealth will they lose if they passed you " , Grandma in a choked voice ranted understanding granddaughter’s situation.     

     Damini the eldest child of Krishna had to stay in her maternal grandparents house in Vijayawada while Krishna worked in a small town Tanuku a three hour drive away from here. English medium schools started in Tanuku only after Damini's youngest sister Renuka came to kindergarten class, until then Deepu went to school in Kakinada , paternal grandparents place, they were three siblings , Deepak and Renuka stayed with parents and would visit Vijayawada during holidays because grandparents' house was the big meeting place for all senior and junior generation cousins , Damini rarely went to Tanuku. The grandparents house , a three storeyed building in a bustling junction situated on the foothill of the mighty Indrakiladri hilly stretch amidst many many other cluster houses . Many lanes and bylanes lead the path to uphill houses too. This building was a standout structure of all these houses around. A very big joint family they were , amongst whom Damini enjoyed all the warmth of aunties uncles it never occurred to her that all have a set of parents , the joint family bonds were such that nobody felt they belonged to only their parents , enjoying affection and reprimand from elder cousin sisters , brothers , especially the pure pamper from her grandfather and the cook Chandra made her brattish which became a concern for Krishna and Priya , " she needs to be taught to behave , parents only will be blamed not grandparents... Amma ". Priya once blurted out to her mother during a pamper session.Over the course of time relatives drifted apart, cousin sisters got married ,brothers and uncles shifted to different places , the house got nearly empty . Damini neglected her academics which worried Krishna a lot but couldn't convince his father in-law ( his own maternal uncle )to take her away. She became their only companion who went around the house gayily and had her way in everything.

    Now the only person in that house who's thrilled with Damini's report card is Krishna who knew this would be his ticket to take her away to Tanuku . All with grim faces prepared to send her with a promise that she comes for each and every holiday given. She arrived at Tanuku with a crying face much to the unpleasant surprise of her siblings who did not like her much because of her bossy attitude. They went to their mother Priya , " we are all happy till now why this change suddenly " Deepu cribbed . " She's your akka so learn to deal with her and be nice even if she's not until she adjusts here " Priya told them. By evening a group of six kids, all juniors , from the neighborhood gathered around Deepu Renu making enquiries about the new entrant. 

       Soon she got a ninth class admission in another ( not the siblings school) school without repeating the class she failed in Vijayawada after passing the admission test which seemed easy here . Coming from a girls only convent , coeducational school was new to her. She did not like the idea of boys in same class , because of fluency in English she was looked upon as a celebrity. All her classmates were friendly and she didn't like befriending boys due to imaginary notions she had that they are unruly, rough , unkind species. She liked the teachers, especially social teacher Sri Narsimha Murthy, a seventy year old smiling man always clad in dhoti kurta. He spoke  with affection like a grandfather and was a mentor to all other teachers including the Principal Mrs Bharathi, wife of Prasad ,a subordinate of Krishna in JayaLakshmi Fertilizers company.  

       Tanuku house, situated on the outskirts , was a row of four portions; each portion had three compartmental rooms . Krishna rented two portions out of four so it was a six room house including kitchen and verandah. The house had a common big spacious terrace from where Krishna's vast office JLFertilisers was visible , there are no more houses from here , between the house and office dwelled a farmer with four buffaloes in a hut beside a big haystack . The buffaloes had a shed to relax. Milk is supplied from here to nearby families. The neat black top main road coming from the town stretched further, crossing their house and office big gate , bending into a smooth curve towards left . Before the bend on the right side of the road and a few meters from the office gate a sturdy medium sized tree stood , its trunk straight up from bottom bent acutely towards left , making a small shade on the side of the road . Damini started observing , saw the leaves were broad, peculiar roundish shaped , gleaming in the sunlight , it did not have any flowers or fruits. The neighbor aunty came up to dry red chillies , Damini asked , " Aunty what kind of tree is that?" aunty saw and said , " don't go near that tree , it's not good especially after sunset ". This only increased her curiosity. Bang opposite to the house is a very big multi-specialty hospital campus with staff quarters and play area. She went down and saw the kids group chatting , authoritatively asked them what their names and classes were studying . They spread from LKG to seventh classes , all barefoot , " why aren't you all wearing footwear "..she asked angrily , " next time I see any of you barefoot , you'll get good thrashing " she warned them . She felt little good for being an elder here , the power of whip cracking youngsters gave her a high. Missing her grandparents very much she sobbed loudly on her pillow every night especially when her father was around to draw attention , all this was ignored because they knew consoling only fueled it up. Father suggested she should explore the area , " go for a walk or jog in the morning. It's beautiful here , observe everything ". 

    Damini did not like the idea of a school having both boys and girls , she snapped and sneered at boys , soon she succeeded in wedging boys and girls of the class who were friends till then . When PT sir came to count how many boys and girls , they would shout , " we are all girls sir there are no boys in our class " they mocked and burst into laughter. " We too don't have girls in our class sir they're all devils " boys would counter.

      Deepu had Hero cycle Renu's cycle was small for her so grandfather sent her a new chocolate color cross bar bicycle with red seat and a strange triangular cycle alarm unlike the regular round bell , it made four kinds of sounds each time it's pressed in the middle. She loved cycling along the tractors carrying loads of sugarcane, trying to overtake them falling off , riding in rain with one hand , she tried all possible things she could on it. Grandparents would call to Krishna's office and speak to her every Sunday as there was no telephone at home. 

          Early morning farmers on Bullock carts would go past their house singing loudly, some sitting, some lying in the cart, looking at the sky . Jogging in those misty moisty mornings Damini started liking that dreamy filmy atmosphere around , along the bend of the road was a beautiful canal with ‘flame of the forest’ trees in bloom lined up along its bank running to a stretch of two km passing the sugar factory. Employees’ quarters were around a big park with tall Asoka trees fountain with lights and cemented enameled figures of sitting farmer deers bulls also crocodile near a small pool , every weekend a screen was set up for movies , watching them sitting on the grass was an experience very new enjoyable , she loved playing with the tiny ‘ touch me nots’ , the leaves closing on touching it was a wonder to watch. 

     That forbidden tree she always was in awe . She went up to it every morning on way back from jog for a closer look. The bent area where the trunk branched out making the twist part with two cavities with bark below split horizontally making it look like a smiling face was fascinating to her . The Milkman passing by on cycle gave out a shout to her , " why are you standing there , go home " he said so sternly , then he called out to the Jayalakshmi Fertilizers watchman , " Narsi !!! Krishna Garu daughter is going near that tree " Narsi ran up to her , " See Damini amma you are new to this place , this tree has ghosts in it they come after sunset and vanish or kill people who come close to it so you should be very far from it " he explained . Damini eyes widened in amazement , " I never saw ghosts and very eager to see them , can I see them from far " , Narsi tried to convince but Damini countered " You don't know science Narsi , trees give oxygen they don't vanish or kill people ", not able to convince him she came narrating this to her father , he said , '' you are right trees give oxygen in daytime , at night they give carbon-dioxide so anyone who goes near any tree at night might get suffocated , this is, cooked up and story made , that's it , ghosts if there let them be , when we don't disturb them they won't disturb us ". 

     " Why she's curious about that tree " Deepu thought aloud , Renu chuckled , " because she thinks it's smiling at her , not surprising , obviously devil smiles only with its friend na " both laughed almost falling off the steps leading to terrace , other kids joined them in discussion , fifth class Subu said "we should never let her go near it " , sixth class Vinod said " why not it would be good riddance if she vanished ", " Then the devils will get more stronger if she joined them , till now they were good did not bother us you see... " Vinod's younger sister Indu chipped in . All agreed to this , and decided to somehow divert her attention from that tree . That was sugarcane season, big loads of sugarcane sticks went past their house to the factory , kids would pull out sugarcane from behind and feast on it . Damini loved this sport and soon she joined them. Being taller she had the advantage of running behind the tractors, sometimes carts and pulling out the choicest cane was real fun. Most of all kids had cycles , they would race behind the carts to get hold of sugarcanes . On one such trail Deepu with friends planned to watch the loads being stocked up in open trolleys lined up on a track to take into the factory. It's fascinating, he promised , so all set off to watch it . The trolley bogies were filled up with untied sugarcane and moved slowly into the factory , they went further for a closer look but stopped by the guard , they found another way and were staring at the loads moving , Subu pulled out a big fat sugarcane and soon the guard came running all ran helter-skelter , the guard caught Deepu tied him up to a pole while all escaped . " Daddy will get angry with us , we three will get smacked good today!! " Renu cried. Plotting a strategy they again went together where Deepu got tied up Vinod being a good runner went up to guard tried to pull the stick in his hand , making him run behind him meanwhile others untied Deepu , all sped off on cycles , thrilled thoroughly with this adventure they decided to keep it a secret from all parents. Deepu is pathetic in this , after bath he kept looking at Mom and Dad guiltily , on asking spilled out the beans , while Priya wasn't pleased Krishna laughed off the whole thing and took it sportively.
      

     Daily the children gathered to play on terrace , while playing badminton Damini was drawn by the big haystack belonging to the milkman , beside their house wanted to climb on it and roll in like they show in films thinking it should be great fun , so she hit the shuttlecock hard that it landed on the stack , pretending to take the cork she took milkman' s permission and climbed on top of it she rolled in that dry grass enjoying , soon all kids envied this privilege , all started climbing causing the hay which was neatly stacked up to dislodge falling off the ground bringing everyone down , this angered the milkman's son Suri who took out the whip he uses for buffaloes , he whacked and chased everyone out the place . All started feeling itchy because of rolling in dry grass , they scrambled up to water pumps pushing each other sitting under water scratching all over like monkeys . Damini realized it's not a good idea at all. The neighbor aunty Lakshmi ( her husband working in Muscat ) staying with her son Chinnu and daughter Ammulu who are part of this gang , laughed at them. Apparao from another house watched her , moved a little closer and cracked some joke which Lakshmi didn't like , she glared at him and went inside her house. Damini observed this for a second time , felt something's wrong with that man's behavior , he reminded her of  Maths Sir annoying Telugu ma'am in school. Next morning on her way back from jog she found Suri plucking roadside leaves , stopping by she asked what's that for he said it's leaf causing intense itching he uses to play fool with friends he added that it should be held with stalk only . She too collected a few leaves carefully putting them in her pocket , went to Apparao house , placed two leaves in his half shoe , which he uses daily without socks. In school just before Math class stealthily stuck leaves with a drop glue on the chair arm rests. Sir came in good spirits, started writing on the blackboard and explained for a while and then sat to relax , it took some time for him to realize . He got furious ....." Whose work is this he shouted ! " Trying hard to hold back scratching but couldn't. All girls knew but kept quiet , he started caning boys first on their palms and knuckles. Stung with guilt Damini admitted , it was her. " You will repent this " saying he pinched her cheek , which she felt was very creepy. 

   At home Priya had a serious face, Deepu and Renu looked scared . " Did you put those leaves in Apparao uncle shoes " he whispered , " he sent his wife to complain about us three " , slowly Damini nodded her head , Priya seeing this shook her angrily , " why do you always misbehave, being a big sister you are supposed to be teaching good to your siblings " she shouted. Krishna took her to the terrace and asked for a reason , " did uncle say anything to you …?". " He's the same as my Maths Sir behaving wrongly to Lakshmi aunty " she blurted out everything to Krishna . She could clearly notice the change in her father's expression when she talked about Math sir pinching her cheek. " Never ever hide such things , be brave and never tolerate wrongdoing " he patted her on the head. 

            She parked her cycle taking her bag and turned to face a gleaming Telugu ma'am who took her hands shaking them saying thanks and went away, she didn't understand. Her classmates waited for her , looking very curious , " did you really take it that serious ..?, pinching on cheek he does that often to us " , " what happened ya ..." Damini said irritably ...." Maths Sir is dismissed from school !!! How can you not know , your father instructed HM 's husband ". Damini was dumbstruck , " really....??!! ". " Go see for yourself , till now there was an argument now he's leaving " Damini ran to the school office , saw him packing his things to leave , seeing her , " you are a child and completely misunderstood me , you think yourself a heroine doing this ...? " She replied , " yes sir ", he walked away angrily. All the lady teachers rejoiced looking at HM's husband with gratitude as he came out of the office . HM Bharathi was unhappy though , now she has to appoint another Maths teacher. Damini felt really high , that the power of having a protective father shot up her moral strength . He's a real Hero, she felt . 
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               The class had three more new girls , Jagadeeswari with big eyes , from Madhya Pradesh fondly called Jaggu , good at Hindi and started learning the local language , Usha , thin and tall , from Kovvur convent , and Kiran Mai tall strong fair , from Guntur school . All gelled quite well , mingling normally with boys too except Damini who still stuck to her notions .They had feast time during lunch sharing lunch boxes chatting merrily. The teachers conducted mock parliament sessions in which Damini was made speaker and Kiran opposition leader , Raghu ,class topper as PM ( which also meant headboy ) . School problems and events were discussed , ideas to resolve , co-ordination for various activities were planned here . Both Kiran and Damini being feisty would often cross swords , carrying it to their Parliament sessions too , it seemed like a battle between the Speaker and opposition leader , who was supposed to address Damini as respected speaker whereas opposition leader needn't be addressed same , this satisfied Damini’s ego much to the annoyance of Kiran. To annoy her more Damini would dismiss some of her queries saying , " irrelevant question , you may sit down " Kiran countered , " You must explain why it's irrelevant "....." Not necessary  , it's waste of time , if you don't like you may walk out "....,Teachers rolled their eyes while ruling members giggled . Their favorite sport was tennikoit in which Kiran was a champ. She unleashed her wrath here, her throw made such an impact that Damini's finger nails would crack up and bleed , though she fought back , it was always either a tie or game lost. 

          Padmaja ma'am was their new Maths teacher who also gave tutions after school hours . Damini joined this tution for betterment in scores. From the time she went to the tuition she noticed Padmaja ma'am being biased towards her , trying to help in tests much to dislike of Damini. Her subconscious pricking , she shared it with Narsimha Murthy sir , he said , " having principles and sticking to them is true courage , not just being aggressive , though not as easy as said but what's the fun of life if things are easy . Honesty is an adventure and very tough and the thrill of living with it is phenomenal , just don't forget you are the boss and sculptor of your life " . This slowly was sinking in her mind as she wrote her Maths test , later called by Maths ma'am after the last period. Ma'am gave her a blank sheet and made her write the exam problems again guiding her with the right answers . Damini went home a little late, freshened up and took a walk towards the tree . Still she felt the tree was smiling and a surge of contentment filled up , inside the urge to be honest germinating she decided to be truthful , a sense of overwhelm took over her . The tree no matter what sticks to its roots spreads oxygen to every being, small or big, unbiased , does it's job irrespective of how people treat it , something which is very  difficult for a human mind to imbibe. Such great souls are trees , with gratitude she bent over and hugged the tree , pledging friendship with it as the setting sun darkened the sky . 
 
      Arriving at school the next day she found  Usha and Jaggu at the school gate with grim faces telling her ," Narsimha Murthy sir passed away  HM and teachers went to his house " . This devastated her , " I want to see him too " she said crying profusely , " they must've taken him to the funeral place by now " Usha said . " I know that place , it's beside the canal " Damini turned her cycle towards road , " girls are not allowed there you idiot ...." Jaggu shouted as she raced off . Reaching the open funeral place which did not have any compound wall she could see only Sir's feet, the rest of the body covered with logs , from a distance and was stopped by the graveyard keepers there . They shooed her away angrily saying it's not a place for girls. Coming home distressed she went up the Terrace to have a look at the tree for solace. All the kids , surprised with her mellowed mood, came around her curiously. She told them what happened , looking away from the tree she announced , " we are all going on a special task tomorrow early morning , be ready quickly and don't tell anyone ". Early in the morning , while the dawn just started setting , all set off on cycles through the foggy roads following Damini and reached the graveyard . Few kids gasped on seeing where they reached , others were excited . Taking a chance of this unguarded moment she barged in straight to the pyre , laying her hand on the warm ash she picked a fistful and placed it in a beautiful small box grandpa gave her to keep gold earrings. Seeing this Deepu too picked handfuls of ash telling her , " we must leave this in any river or canal , look !!! Akka I got a few bones too " excitedly both taking handfuls, went to the canal bank, poured it into the water dusted hands and returned home , freshened up , and went to their respective schools with satisfaction.
   
‌           Feeling a bit settled she entered class , her friends waiting to know what she was upto yesterday . She told them cryptly that the visit was done. Math period started , ma'am announced Damini topped in Maths exam , dismayed by this Damini realized that paper she was made to write after exam was not part of revision exercise but sheer cheating. Dishonesty was wrecking inside , angry with ma'am and at the same time felt sorry for Raghu who always topped in Math without tuitions. Not wanting to disgrace the teacher in public  , she went to her , said , " Ma'am , this is bad , a sin and shameful deed ". Her mind was raging ," how ungrateful you are Damini " the teacher, taken aback, managed to say. Why are math teachers' calculations so wrong and equations with them often disastrous her mind was erupting inside . Filled with guilt she cycled home during lunch period leaving the lunch box and bag at school. The scenes of Sir talking to her , ma'am making her cheat kept flashing in her mind. The sight of the tree brought her to senses realizing she was riding past her home which was on the right side of the road while she was on the left side , oblivious of a lorry just beside her , she took a sharp turn to the right , to the shock of the unassuming driver . He immediately pulled up the vehicle to screeching halt but already it whammed the cycle throwing down Damini rolling on road as the lorry came on to her and halted with big noise , its left tyre pressing over her left thigh. Lying on the road she saw the cycle travel a few meters and finally fall a little before the tree. The watchman of the hospital opposite their house ran across and pulled her up , and the lorry driver jumped down, perplexed. Everybody around was shouting at the driver . Damini was made to stand up and she felt blank , she limped slowly seeing her Mom rush out of the house petrified , her leg soon got numb  once she sat , she couldn't stand again. She could just manage to tell Priya it was only her fault not the driver's. Pain started setting in but the pain of guilt overshadowed it ,she felt this is the punishment she deserved well for her deed . Doctor advised her to take a month's bedrest . 
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‌       Evening neighbor aunties and uncles showed up furiously complaining to Krishna and Priya about Damini taking their children to the graveyard on sly. They literally scolded the parents for not putting the girl in check and that it's not the way to mould a girl that too the eldest . Apparao too joined and added , " do you all know why she was hit with lorry ...it's because she went and hugged that forbidden tree " others gasped , closing their mouths , " Oh God !!! such a dangerous girl , going to graveyard too , very tough task for parents to handle ", Krishna Priya apologized and sent them away. 
          

            Not talking to them on weekends Vijayawada grandparents were saddened and worried . This accident was not revealed  to avoid worrying them more. Usha , Jaggu and a few teachers kept visiting , helping her in coping up with classes and notes. Recovering well she slowly started sitting on her cycle parked near the main door. Next day she started pedaling the cycle with the stand on. A month passed, on doctor's advice she went to school in a rickshaw daily. Seeing Kiran play tennikoit she went up to the ground , playfully the ring was thrown at her and she could catch hold of it , feeling encouraged , slowly she joined in the game but couldn't run across if thrown little away. Kiran felt bored of the game not having a fitting rival , to some extent only Damini was challenging to her. She encouraged Damini to keep practicing as they still have two months for sports day .

       Grandmother arrived and was distressed  seeing Damini walk with a slight limp , knowing about the accident made her more pathetic . " I'm fine now , I can also ride my bicycle now Nanamma ", she said , " enough of that riding , don't go near it and also that cursed tree " Grandma shot back . " Look at  your bookshelf , you must tidy and arrange it regularly " , saying she started taking out the books to tidy and found this ornamental small box with ash in it , " Vibhuti should be near puja place , not here "  she devotedly touched it on both eyes opened the box and was about to apply it on her forehead , Deepu just coming from play said very casually, " hey !!! Nanamma that's Sir's ashes not Vibhuti ".....Grandma was horrified hearing this and freaked the hell out , " Priya !!! Do you know this !!? How the hell are you so ignorant of this terrible thing she did ....." She ranted on and on. The maid was called to discard the ashes , to which Damini cried , " No !!! This is unfair , cruel.... I want to do this in a river ....." . Krishna convinced his mother to send her with the maid , " you and your daughter are mad " Grandma grumbled glaring at Krishna. The ashes were mixed in a nearby canal , consoling her, the maid assured the canal is also part of the river. She was first made to sit under the handpump thoroughly drenched from head to toe then bathed before entering the door , the whole house was cleaned and mopped , bedsheets curtains everything changed as a purification ritual . Damini was taken to a Sivalayam to perform a minimal puja . 

                She spoke to her Vijayawada Grandparents still not revealing why she did not talk to them for a month. She told grandfather about the tree and about the school activities , he said " trees are the only honest living things on earth actually they are sources of existence for all other beings , in spite of being attacked they go on with a principle of living and giving life . When you intend to do something right don't think of the outcome just do it as long as it's not a harm to others......about your game , don't lose sight of the ring and your reflexes will do the rest ". Coming out of the office gate after the phone call she saw Narsi pouring water near the tree base , surprised she went up to him , " so you are not afraid , you bluffed about the ghosts is it....? ". Narsi with an embarrassed big smile replied , " after sunset there are lot of insects big and small which crawl all over here sometimes snakes too visit , only that ghost story will keep people away , only because of the scare this tree is not cut off , I don't know science but I have sense Damini amma , let it be a forbidden tree for sake of other creatures , amma. " She nodded .
  
           With fresh energy Damini started practicing tennikoit very religiously like always lost with Kiran. That was the time of Benson and Hedges cricket season ( the year of 1985) , all cricket buffs were gripped in this frenzy , at home Krishna , at school all boys and men , Australian team was a strong team and Indian team weak. Whenever she asked for permission to ride cycle Krishna would say " if India won the match you will be allowed ". At school whenever Damini and Kiran played, all students called it Benson Hedges match , Kiran touted as Australia and as Damini India. Daily she returned home with cracked up bleeding fingernails. " Don't bother about winning dear , enjoy your game and play coolly " Krishna advised. 
    
     It was Sports Day , the ground full of fun ,decorated with festoons all over ground. Court for tennikoit drawn with white powder. It was a doubles match with Kiran and another girl , Damini's partner withdrew at the last minute fearing Kiran's service which is famous for bleeding the nails of rivals. Begging one eighth class girl and assuring her she won't have much to do just stay as partner , it's alright to lose they both felt , Damini had crepe bandage tightly fixed to her thigh to manage pain in case of strain.  After all other games for lower classes like running races , kho kho etc , the much awaited game started . Kiran started service , the play started slow , both teams adjusted to the psyche of each other gathering momentum bit by bit. After the service it was sole show of Kiran and Damini leaving their respective partners little to do ,both covered their whole respective spaces sometimes stepping out of the border to catch and gaining /losing points , keeping cool both kept flinging the ring near and far from the net , Kiran was thoroughly excited finding the match challenging her potential ,and played fiercely . The first match was a tie . Second match started Damini served and the match turned into a battle surprising her rival with the speed of counter throw , both ravaged the ground with their shoes making clouds of dust rise . Both profusely sweating and hands slipped the ring a few times , they picked some mud and rubbed on hands for grip. Second match too was a tie. The school crowd  kept swelling to watch this , some shouted ' Australia ' and few others ' India ' . Teachers decided the third set to be final as the evening got darker . Third match began and the tempo got higher. This time all players were at their best ,more dust rising made it a real spectacle. Damini kept running forth back left right , she felt something fall off from her leg , it was the crepe bandage , kicking it out of the court she continued , the ground electrified with tension many biting nails over the uncertainty which they never had about the only champ till now. Both kept the scores even finally Damini got to serve , she had to get this right , just one point more would make history , she threw it so high , to figure out in that dusty air , it took slightly more seconds for Kiran , seeing the ring trajectory almost out of border ,Kiran thrilled with ecstasy jumped with Joy shouting " OUT !!! " Damini and partner were already prepared for any result , that they played well in itself a great memory they would cherish , the ring fell on ground with a thud just inside the left corner of the border . The whole crowd at once stood up with big cheers in amazement , looking at each other in disbelief Damini and her partner hugged each other and the school children swarmed up to them in total glee with this unexpected outcome. India won over Australia at least in this ground , they all shouted , exhausted completely Damini through the crowd spotted Deepu with his friend Sridhar. Surprised and wondering why they came, she looked on quizzically , " India won Benson and Hedges Cup ! , so you get to ride your cycle , Daddy sent us ". Deepu excitedly blurted. They cycled back , riding past the home three of them stopped near the tree smiling at it they came home delighted to see a sumptuous treat Grandmother made.

……..dharani……